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Feet are, undisputedly, the ugliest appendage, dislocated fingers excepted. Whether yours are pudgy and flat, boney, hairy and crooked (shudder) or generally healthy and normal looking (ha, liar) let’s clear up one thing real quick: they’re not worthy of public display. Naked toes should only see be seen at the beach and even then the kind thing to do is dig them into the sand. But that doesn’t mean your dogs don’t deserve love. They’re your support system, and you spend all day beating them into the ground. And cleaning them up is more than hygienic—it’s a favor to whomever gets a full view of your ten friends at home.

The Basics:

The Nailman Rings Twice

When cutting your nails, use a large clipper (try Tweezerman GEAR Precision Grip Toenail Clipper) and trim straight across, leaving a thin white line. You can soften the edges with a file but rounding them out ups the chances for ingrown—the delightful podiatric condition that’s as gross-looking as it is painful.

Put Your Feet to the Grindstone

Keep a pumice stone or foot file in the bathroom and eoliate the dead skin off your soles at the end of your shower a few times a week. (A really grainy body eoliator works, too.) Gentle feet are happy feet.

A Toothbrush for Your Toes

If you tend to get dirt trapped down there, scrub your toes with a nail brush. This imitation-ivory one from D R Harris is a slick bathroom accessory and has harmed exactly zero elephants.

You Moisturize Your Face, Right?

So why wouldn’t you do the same to your feet? Right after showering, slap on some foot lotion (try something refreshing, like Burt’s Bees Peppermint Foot Lotion) to hold onto the moisture your feet have already soaked up.

It’s Time

Get over your fear of pedicures. They’re life-changing, and if LeBron does it, they’re good enough for you.

**What you should do if:

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Your feet sweat more than your armpits

Hyperhidrosis (more common in dudes) can leave a stench in your shoes and ups your risk for foot infection. Try washing with an antibacterial soap (we like Cetaphil’s bar soap) in the shower, then make sure to completely dry your toes. Gold Bond powder, as always, is your saving grace. Swap your cotton socks for a tech-y pair that’ll wick moisture (look for merino wool, like this pair from Icebreaker) and keep an extra pair at your desk to change into midday. If you’re still sweaty, try rolling (or spraying) an antiperspirant onto the bottoms of your feet.

Your favorite shoes keep giving you blisters

Like zits, blisters are best left unpopped. Your best move is to soak the offending foot in warm water with Epsom salts, which might help draw out some of the fluid. If you can’t wait (we can’t), disinfect a needle with rubbing alcohol and make a tiny hole at the edge of the blister. Let the fluid drain, apply Neosporin, and cover it up with a Band-Aid. (Your other option: buy a pair of shoes that don’t give you blisters!)

Your callused feet look like they belong to an ogre

Calluses are one of your body’s defense mechanisms. The thickened skin that grows from repetitive friction is your skin’s natural way of protecting itself from pressure, but calluses that get too big can cause pain. Try soaking your feet in warm water for 20 minutes, then using a pumice stone or foot file to remove some of the tough skin. (Delightfully-named Moleskin padding in your shoe can help relieve some of that rubbing pain.) If things don’t improve, a doctor can help trim it down--with a gnarly industrial-grade sander, we’ll bet.

You barely make it to the gym once a week--so why the athlete’s foot?

Athlete’s foot doesn’t just lurk in the locker room--you’re liable to run into it in basically any other warm, moist environment. An OTC med like Lotrimin is your best start, but remember to dry your feet completely—meaning between the toes—when you get out of the shower so it doesn’t spread. If you’ve got nuclear-grade fungus, look into a prescription-strength option with your favorite medical professional.

Your heels are...crunchy?

If yours are scratching your gal or snagging the sheets, rub a heavy duty moisturizing cream like Gold Bond Ultimate Softening Foot Cream or a balm like Vaseline all over your feet, then slip on some old white cotton socks and wear them overnight. We don’t usually trust dudes who sleep in socks, but suspend judgment just this once: you’ll wake up to smoothness.

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