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Karlos Dansby, starting linebacker for the playoff-bound Cleveland Browns (we are calling it early; Browns are going to the Super Bowl!*), has launched his own men’s grooming line, Montez Renault. Because when you knock people out for a living, you need your skin to be soft. We got him on the phone to ask about how the Pittsburgh Steelers smell and what Johnny Manziel puts in his hair.

So you’re doing a men’s grooming lineis face moisturizer part of the NFL culture?

We’re supposed to be warriors. A barbarian-like atmosphere. But you’d be surprised how these guys are into keeping their hair up, keeping their skin looking good.

Who’s the most worried about their hair on the Browns?

Hmmm. Who always has their hair did, always talking about their hair? OK. I’d have to say Paul Kruger. He got the golden locks.

So who’s the dirtiest guy on the team? Who needs some Montez Renault in his life?

Man you’re gonna put me on the spot like that? I can’t say my D-linemen because I need them to keep guys off of me.

Blame it on the punter. You got that new guy from San Francisco.

OkayJohnson Bademosi. Our special teams specialist.

Is he a little ashy?

I wouldn’t say he’s ashy. But he’s into skincare.

Coach Mike Pettine’s whole thing is play like a Brown. How do you smell like a Brown? Is Montez Renault fruity? Spicy?

It’s not too fruity, it’s not super spicy. It’s a real clean scent.

Let’s get concretedoes it smell more like a football or some grass?

Ha! I’ll just say it smells like spring.

Who uses it on the team?

Everybody! I gave some to (wide receiver) Dwayne Bowe and he was like,man. (Linebacker) Chris Kirksy always asks me questions.Can I use moisturizer in the shower?I said no, man!When you get out of the shower, then apply the moisturizer to your face. I also gave some stuff to Kevin Durant, and he saidI don’t know what you guys have in there but it got my skinglowing.

Of anyone you’ve played with, who takes the longest to get ready?

Me! I take forever to get ready man. I have to be dialedin, Ihaveto be dialed in. Lotion, moisturizer on my face, make sure my hair looks halfway decent, make sure I got enough oil just on my skin.

What does a football helmet do to a man’s hair game?

You get the grime. You sweat. And the helmet is always pressing on the hair so it’s killing the follicles. That’s why a lot of guys in the NFL are going bald.

Football helmets make people go bald?

Without a doubt! Wear and tear!

At health clubs they always give you nice products when you take a shower. What do they give you when you shower at Brown’s Stadium?

This year it’s going to be kind of special. When you go into the showers it’s going to be our three-in-one body wash in there.

What about the visitors? Stick them with some Dove Purely Pampering body wash with Hibiscus flower?

No it’s going to be in the visitors’ locker room, too!

You’re giving the Baltimore Ravens that spring scent? You’re giving the Pittsburgh Steelers that Montez Renault glow?

Why not! Got to expose them to it sometime.

Now you know I’m going to ask you about Johnny Manziel. What does he use in his hair?

Ha! I’m not sure what Johnny uses on his hair. But I know he loves our products. He told me his mom loves the smell. She was going through all our products and she loves itso he’s using it all up, the moisturizer, the conditioner the body wash.

Who is the most groomingest ass dude you ever played with?

That’s hard because I’ve been in the league for twelve years. Wait! I got the perfect guy, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Cameron Wake, Miami Dolphins. He’s the definition of a well-groomed man.

Men are doing some waxing these days. Backs, chests

Their private parts.

Do people do that in the NFL?

I can’t put it past them. It’s hereditary, so why not wax it off if it’ll make you feel more confidence? That’s what our products are about that confidence. My partner and I have a men’s club at Saks Fifth Avenue in Birmingham, Alabamait’s called Butler’s men’s club. Guys come in and get haircuts and styles. We have massages, facials, everything, and yeah, we do waxing.

Will you do the full wax anywhere?

We do the Brazilian wax. And we do have quite a few guys who do the Brazilian wax.

What about guys who come in the locker room with their shit all waxed and trimmed up?

That’s the way that guy’s feeling right now!

No one will make fun of him?

Not at all! Guy wants to keep himself well groomed, that’s the way he feel.

Listen. I’m from Cleveland myself, and I’m a lifelong Browns fan. So I’m going to end this the way all important men’s grooming interviews should be concluded: I’m predicting that the Browns exceed expectations this year and make the playoffs.

No doubt. We’ve been workinghard.

*This statement is rogue and has not been vetted by GQ.

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