I’m not going say that you 100% absolutely positively no-questions-asked need to trim your armpit hair. Do what you want with it. Shave it, for all I care. Color it with a nice ombre. Braid it backwards.
But hear me out: I think you should trim your armpit hair. At least a little. Consider the following evidence:
Recently, I was with a few pals, one of whom is a photographer. He shoots male models. Another used to work in the re-touching of said photographs. We were complaining about our relentless body hair and about being egregiously sweaty. The discussion of armpit hair came up: how much is too much?
Knowing what I do about hair and grooming, I mentioned that our armpit hair has a limited growth cycle, and usually reaches its “terminal length.” That is, even if you've never trimmed your underarm hair, it's still probably only a couple inches long. (All your body hair has this quality, even that on your head and beard. However, terminal lengths for those parts are muuuuuch longer than your chest’s or leg’s or armpit’s.) My argument on the topic was that the few inches of terminal length didn’t seem to bother anyone: It's not like an unkempt neckline, or patchy back hair. It's armpit hair. It hides under there and helps wick sweat away from the skin—and sends out pheromones to attract mates.
The photographer friend asked me to raise my arms up, then to set them at my sides. I was wearing a tank top, and when I followed his order, a tuft of armpit hair stuck out from my arm, popping forward like a little weed. He pulled at the hair (gross), and said “This is what you need to trim.”
The photo editor echoed him: “We never picked a photo where the guy has his arms down and the armpit hair shows through. If his arm is up, it’s OK. But if it’s at his side, that was a huge marketing no-no. It looks unhygienic.”
Their argument is that people—consumers in this case—have a repulsion not necessarily to all body hair, but to the hair that shows when it shouldn’t. Think of the neckbeard: Just because it’s grows there doesn't mean it looks good. It’s certainly less flattering than a well-trimmed neckline.
So, yeah, lost that debate. I started thinking that, if someone sees me—not necessarily at the beach, but even in a tank top—and they note my armpit hair aggressively frayed out like that, then they might subconsciously conclude that I’m not paying attention to my own hygiene. Plus, if the marketing experts who spend all day thinking about this stuff imply that it affects consumer feelings and sales, then I think there’s a valuable lesson to be learned.
And figuring out the proper length is simple: Raise your arms over your head, then bring them down to your sides like you’re flapping your wings. That leftover nub is excess. Take a trimmer—CONAIR for Men’s All-in-One Grooming System is a perfect device for the job—and just clip this entire chunk of hair away. It won't take you down to the stubble, so you won’t have to worry about annoying underarm friction and redness. Instead, you’re cleaning it up for aesthetics. And the rest of it can stay, if you so please.
And on second thought: maybe don't braid it.
See also: What You Need to Know Before Getting Rid of Your Body Hair
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