Whether you call it strap-on sex or pegging, it’s clear that many people feel drawn to this sex toy-assisted sex act. The search for the best strap-on might have been sparked by appearances in recent media, like Broad City, Deadpool, and Sense8. Cara Delevingne wore the slogan “Peg the Patriarchy” on her Met Gala outfit last year. Is it the subversiveness of flipping gender norms and sexual scripts that make this so popular? Or is it just that it can feel really, really good?

If you’re curious about strap-ons and looking to try one out (whether you’ll be wearing it or your partner will), there are a few basic items you’ll need in your sex toy arsenal:

A harness. this is the garment that holds the dildo in place on your body. It can be strappy and ornate, simple and plain, or anywhere in between. If you’re a first-time strap-on user, you might want to look for a harness set, which will include all the necessary accoutrements for strap-on sex.

A dildo. The actual toy that does the penetrating. It can be made of silicone, glass, metal, and various other materials—just make sure yours has a flared base so it’ll fit securely into your harness.

Lube. Lube is a non-negotiable for butt stuff, and makes any sex act feel better. Water-based lube is usually the best choice for strap-on sex because it’s compatible with all dildo materials.

A small vibrator. This is optional, but if you want the person wearing the strap-on to feel pleasure (and maybe even be able to get off), it can help to tuck a bullet vibrator behind the dildo so it buzzes against the wearer’s junk. Some harnesses and dildos have slots or pockets made specifically for this purpose.

Now that you know what you’re looking for, let’s talk about some of the best products for strap-on sex.

The Best Beginners’ Strap-On Kit: Tantus Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit

Tantus Bend Over Beginner kit$81

Amazon

Since strap-on shopping can be overwhelming, it’s understandable if you’d rather just make one purchase and be done with it. This strap-on set is the best option for that: it comes with a machine-washable strap-on harness, two different-sized high-quality silicone dildos, and a bullet vibrator that fits into a convenient pocket in the harness.

The Best Realistic Strap-On Dildo: Vixen Creations Mustang

Vixen Creations Mustang$140

LoveHoney

Want a dildo that looks and feels as close to a flesh-and-blood dick as possible? This is the one. The lifelike Mustang is made of dual-density silicone, so it has a firm core and a squishy outer layer on top of that, for an ultra-realistic feel. It’s available in three different skin tones as well as a few whimsical shades like pink and green. If you want to use the 7.5-inch dildo for anal sex, the curvature of the Mustang is primed to hit the p-spot, whether or not you want to use it for strap-on play.

The Best Bendable Strap-On Dildo: New York Toy Collective Shilo

New York Toy Collective Shilo$200

Babeland

This realistic dildo has a posable core, so you can create the exact curve and angle you’re looking for. Its bend-ability also makes it unusually well-suited to wearing under clothes if you want to.

The Best Leather Harness: Aslan Leather Jaguar

Aslan Leather Jaguar$105

SheVibe

Leather harnesses are super sexy-looking and can give you more control during sex than the fabric kind, although they are harder to clean. This highly adjustable harness is built to last a lifetime: if yours breaks during normal use, you can send it back to the company and they’ll repair or replace it for free. The dildo placement is slightly lower than traditional harnesses, which means the dildo puts more satisfying pressure on the clitoris. The versatile harness comes in two sizes to get the perfect fit for any wearer. The O-ring, or where you put in the dildo, is secured by three snaps, and it allows for interchangeable O-ring sizes for different dildo sizes.

The Best Jockstrap-Style Harness: SpareParts HardWear Joque Harness

SpareParts HardWear Joque$135

Amazon

The double-strap design of this harness gives you lots of stability while thrusting. This harness is also as comfy as your favorite pair of underwear, and fastens in place with Velcro so it’s easy to put on and take off. There are two little pockets hidden inside it where you can put a bullet vibrator for extra stimulation. The elastic O-ring can work with different dildo sizes—whether you want to try different sizes of girths or work some double dildo action—and the adjustable straps are easy to suit practically every body type.

The Best Underwear-Style Harness: RodeoH Brief+

RodeoH Brief+$55

Amazon

You don’t necessarily want to worry about doing up buckles and adjusting straps when you’re raring to go, which is why underwear-style harnesses are so convenient: just step into it and pull it up like a regular pair of briefs. This type of harness is also comfy enough to be worn under clothes if, for example, you want to be ready for fun as soon as you get home from date night.

The Best Feminine-Looking Harness: SpareParts HardWear Sasha

SpareParts HardWear Sasha$175

Babeland

The aesthetic of a harness can make a big difference in how confident and sexy you feel while wearing it, so if you’re comfiest in feminine styles, a cute panties-esque harness like this one might be the way to go. Detachable garters, lacy edging, and a bow detail make this harness adorably girly, but it’s still well-made enough to get the job done. The Sasha is like wearing lingerie, with the added benefit of being able to add a dildo for some penetrative sex.

The Best Small Strap-On Dildo: Tantus Charmer

Tantus Charmer$39

SheVibe

Slim dildos are usually the best choice for people who haven’t been penetrated much or at all before, especially for anal play. This one tops out at just 1.1 inches in diameter and has a manageable 6.5 inches of insertable length, but the ripples along its shaft ensure that you’ll feel every inch.

The Best Curved Strap-On Dildo: Uberrime Astra Ruby

Uberrime Astra Ruby Medium$79

SheVibe

Dildos with an upward curve have a much easier time hitting the G-spot or prostate during use. This one’s angled shaft and flat head are perfect for zeroing in on those sensitive zones.

The Best Strap-On Dildo for the Wearer’s Pleasure: Fuze Perk

Fuze Perk$70

SheVibe

With a ridged base that feels great to grind against and a hole for a bullet vibrator to turn this into a vibrating dildo, the Perk is engineered to make strap-on sex as pleasurable as possible for the person strapping on. Its gentle curve and average dimensions can feel fantastic for the person being penetrated as well.

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Kate Sloan is a sex toy writer for GQ. She has written the books “101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do” and “200 Words to Help You Talk About Sexuality & Gender,” and is a cohost for the podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box. Her writing on sex and relationships... Read moreWriterInstagramRelated Stories for GQSex and Relationships