Bacteria is breeding in your mouth right now. Yes, as you read this a whole bunch of microorganisms are shagging like rabbits in hot bacterium-on-bacterium action. And as a prize for you, they're going to leave behind a bunch of post-coital bacteria poop. (Technically, it's the sulfur produced by the orgy in your mouth.). This is what causes bad breath, when most of it nestles itself into your tongue (kind of like breadcrumbs in a '70s-era shag carpet). It’s filthy.

The fix: Stick a tongue scraper in there, and put an end to the stench. Tongue scrapers are an effective way to minimize the odor by scraping the sulfur away. (Yes, the easy way to get rid of bad breath is to put a tool in your mouth and yes, we promise we're done with the sex jokes). Because you came here since your breath is bad. It’s soooo bad. It’s been a bad breath. A very bad breath. And it needs to be punished. And it’s tongue scrapers that will do the punishing. (Okay now we're done.) Here's what you need to know:

What Causes Bad Breath?

Yes, it’s gross to think of a bacteria brothel in your mouth, but these bacteria are good. “They are part of the normal oral flora,” says Dr. Harold Katz, a bacteriologist often referred to as “The Bad Breath Guru”. “They actually have a real job – they break down proteins from food in the mouth, so that after it’s swallowed, it is more easily broken down in the gut.”

That’s why the bacteria aren’t the enemy. But their “poop” is the culprit: “The byproducts of the bacteria’s protein breakdown are volatile sulfur compounds, such as Hydrogen Sulfide—the rotten egg smell,” Katz says. “Along with other nasty chemicals, including Putrescine and Cadaverine—the smells of rotting flesh.”

Hot.

How Can Tongue Scrapers Help Eliminate Bad Breath?

A tongue scraper removes the sulfur that rises to the surface of the tongue and sits in it—like the shag carpet it is. If your breath is particularly horrid at any given time, you might notice that it’s got a small coating of the stuff, which can be gently scraped away.

The scraper it’s a fairly straightforward device (our favorite is this houndstooth Savile Row scraper, from AMANO): Two handles support a rounded metal bar. It isn’t sharp, but it isn’t dull, either. The process is just as simple: After brushing, leave a coat of toothpaste on the tongue. Then, drag the scraper gently over the top surface of the tongue—back to front—before rinsing and swishing mouthwash.

A few pointers on the process:

•Katz says to avoid the ingredient Sodium Lauryl Sulfate in your toothpaste, which acts like a detergent and dries out the tongue, thus lowering saliva levels. These bacteria are anaerobes, meaning they thrive (and produce the sulfuric waste) in the absence of oxygen. Saliva is highly concentrated with oxygen, which keeps your breath inherently fresher. “That’s why we have morning breath,” Katz says. “We do not produce saliva when sleeping because we are not eating during sleep.”

•We can’t stress this enough: Scrape gently. A little goes a long way. “In my 22 years of treating bad breath patients, I have seen a great deal of damage from people who have scraped hard,” Katz says. “It can often damage taste buds and in some cases tongue bleeding, which is very messy.”

•Get some oxygen in there! (In the form of saliva!) The physical action of scraping the tongue is only half of it. If you let your tongue dry out, it’s like malnourishing your body after a great workout—what’s the point? One easy way is to use oxygenated toothpaste. (Katz has engineered his own line of it, TheraBreath.). And you can keep this breath fresh overnight by waking up to get a sip of water. It’ll keep the mouth hydrated and lessen the odds of having rotten-egg-meets-rotting-flesh morning breath. (Check out more oral hygiene tips.)

•If you try to makeshift a scraper at home, just be sure it isn’t sharp. Katz suggests using an inverted plastic spoon (in that it’s upside down, cupping the tongue). But we still suggest investing in the real deal scrapers, so that you don’t have to stock plastic spoons in your dopp kit.

How Else Can You Reduce Bad Breath?

In addition to using oxygenated oral care products, you can minimize the sulfuric “bacteria poop” by limiting the protein in your diet.

“Diets high in proteins will create the most tongue coating,” Katz says. “This is an unfortunate side effect of high-protein weight-loss (or mass-building) diets. The bacteria use proteins as fuel.” The same goes for high sugar and dairy intake, since both will also fuel bacteria. (Low protein, low sugar, low dairy…you just can’t win, can you?)

One Other Reason to Eliminate Sulfur in the Mouth

“Scientific studies have shown a link between high oral sulfur levels with increased levels of gum disease,” says Katz. (And we all know how important the gums are to one’s overall oral health.) “This is because the sulfur compounds make the gums spongier, thereby leading to bleeding.”

Not hot.

Watch NowChris Nuñez and Oliver Peck Rate Celebrity Tattoos

Adam Hurly has been covering men's grooming since 2013 (and for GQ since 2016). He is also a travel writer. In Fall 2024, Adam is launching Blue Print by Adam Hurly, a men's grooming platform. Adam resides in Lisbon (previously Berlin, NYC, and San Francisco). He is a Sioux Falls, SD, native... Read moreWriterInstagramRelated Stories for GQGrooming