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Young Trump Staffers Can't Find Anyone in D.C. Who Wants to Date Them

time:2025-02-06 05:45:11 Source: author:

By all accounts, the Trump White House is a stressful place to work: Turnover is high, competition is fierce, and every day, its occupants know that the boss might undo everything on which they’ve worked for the past several weeks with a single Fox & Friends-inspired tweet.

And now according to a new report from Politico, none of these demerits compare to the single most difficult aspect of West Wing employment: It’s really hard for people who work in the Trump administration to get a date.

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When it comes to disclosing their affiliation with Trump, no ground is more fraught than courtship. “Trump supporters swipe left”—meaning “don’t even bother trying”—might be the single most common disclaimer on dating app profiles in Washington.

The situation has become so dire, according to multiple anonymous staffers interviewed for the piece, that many of them have resorted to offering vague answers when asked what they do for a living or, if pressed, straight-up lying about it. Some version of “I have an administration job” used to be the single coolest pickup line in D.C., a city composed of former senior class presidents who cherish proximity to power and would speak only in bureaucracy-adjacent acronyms if they could. Now, apparently, it earns the hushed tones that one might use when choosing how to reveal to a new love interest one’s secret, sordid history of white-collar crime.

Young staffers have had to develop a keen sense of just when to have “The Talk” with romantic partners. “I’ve still been able to hook up with women,” says a male former White House staffer. “But I know that I need to be careful about broaching the Trump stuff. I just know that going in, I need to be able to get it out at the right time and not get it out too early to the point where it’s like, ‘Hey, I worked for Trump, you should stop talking to me,’ but late enough in that eventually they know that there is this information floating out there that I worked for this guy and hopefully you have now seen that I’m not a horrible person and we can go further with this.”

In an effort to keep these unpleasant interactions to a minimum, White House employees have taken to clustering in a slew of sterile high-rise apartment complexes in Southwest and Southeast D.C., most of which are built above a generic chain restaurant and a dedicated CVS. This peculiar area of the city, separated from Real Washington by the Mall, the interstate, and good taste, is now the closest thing the city has to offer to a Trump-friendly area. This is true mostly because no one else in D.C. has any interest in going to that part of it unless the Nationals are on a win streak and the weather at first pitch is something less than “suffocating.”

As the Trump administration searches for ways to justify ripping small children away from their parents at the border without the necessary precautions in place to keep them safe, please keep the plight of its lovelorn staffers in your thoughts and prayers during what sounds like a very trying time in their lives.

Watch:It’s Now Dawned on Trump: People Hate HimJay Willis is a staff writer at GQ covering news, law, and politics. Previously, he was an associate at law firms in Washington, D.C. and Seattle, where his practice focused on consumer financial services and environmental cleanup litigation. He studied social welfare at Berkeley and graduated from Harvard Law School... Read moreRelated Stories for GQWashington D.C.Donald TrumpDatingSex and Relationships

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