Excuse us for interrupting your tryptophan hallucination. But now that the feast is finished, now that you’ve quit arguing about immigration reform with your uncle—it’s all Obummer’s fault—it’s time you quit the charade. Thanksgiving is over. And while we here at GQ Fitness are advocates of stuffing your face, we also see another month of rich foods and boozy parties on the horizon. So it’s best to lay off the leftovers, get outside, and get back into your regular routine.
Here are some alternate activities that will keep you busy and kill off those mashed potatoes accumulating around your waist.
1. Instead of eating leftovers for days, give them to other relatives and go back to eating like a normal human being. Thanksgiving was fun, but you need to get your shit together, gents. "The day after Thanksgiving, it’s important to wake up and get back on track," Lori Zanini, a registered dietitian and spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, says. "This will help boost your metabolism and help your body digest your food efficiently."
2. Instead of watching daytime football—and, let’s be honest, there is no sense in watching meaningless Big Ten games— play football. (Tune into the SEC and Pac-12 after dark.) Even a game of touch football between lethargic bros can be considered a workout. "Just by increasing the intensity of your running mid-game you can torch more than 300 calories depending on the individual," says Virginia dietitian and gym owner Jim White. "You could also throw in a few burpees for the opposing team when someone scores."
3. Instead of drinking eggnog, do digestive yoga. "Yoga poses work on the soft tissues of the body, like a hand gently squeezing a sponge," Kristen Butera, co-owner of the YogaLife Institute in Devon, Pennsylvania, wrote in Yoga Living Magazine. "When the organs of the digestive system are compressed in poses, stale and waste-bearing fluids in those areas are encouraged out of the tissues. Once these materials are freed up, the body is better able to eliminate them. When an area is opened or stretched out in a yoga pose, new life-giving nutrients are able to circulate into the cells."
4. Instead of shopping online, walk the mile to the new "men’s boutique" in your hometown (even though you’ll get stares using suburban sidewalks for their intended purpose).
5. Instead of drinking all your uncle’s Coors Banquet beer and watching Seinfeld reruns with your cousin, help your dad rake the last batch of leaves. But pay attention to form. White recommends raking with "your chest up, full torso and abdominals engaged, back neutral-not-round." Don’t laugh. It’s a serious and strenuous workout. "If you focus on powering through with you legs and engaging your glutes this chore can easily be substituted as a fun outdoor ercise," he says. "But try a variety of movements and angles like pushing, pulling, and throwing to switch it up when bringing those bags to the street!"
6. Instead of inhaling a bucket of popcorn at your local cinema, stay in, cook a light dinner for the family, and watch the newest installment of 30 for 30, "Rand University." And besides, your stomach needs a goddamn break. "Our taste buds regenerate approximately every 10 days," Zanini says. "So after Thanksgiving, help reduce your taste bud’s desire for sweet foods by choosing filling, high fiber foods that do not contain added sugar." Think: Beans, lentils, and quinoa.
7. Instead of drinking a thousand beers with your high school pals, get your old teammates together for a game of pickup hoops (or, for you has-been track stars, a trail run). "You can burn a minimum of 200 calories in just a half an hour of non-competitive basketball," White says. And, given that ugly hitch in your jump shot these days, you’ll be playing some remarkably non-competitive hoops.
8. Instead of picking every last bit of meat off the carcass, make a turkey stock for brothy soups or quinoa. Your mother will be impressed with your resourceful attitude and she’ll be thrilled to have stock in the freezer. Not only does homemade stock taste better, it’s way lower in sodium than the store-bought stuff.
9. Instead of going to Bingo with your Grandma, take her for a walk. She’ll be beaming with happiness and you’ll feel less terrible about your bulging stomach—and the frigid temps will burn a few extra calories. "Your body must work harder to stay warm thus burning more calories than you would be sitting indoors," White says.
10. Instead of sleeping off your tryptophan hangover until noon on Black Friday wake up at the same time you would for work. You can thank us later.
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