Let’s be clear: It’s going to be your intelligence, work ethic, and personal skills that get you ahead in life. That said, a clean-shaven neck never hurt anybody. If you’ve ever worked alongside a guy who you’re pretty sure is one step ahead of you simply because he wears snazzy ties, has an old-timey haircut, and generally looks like a walking advertisement for your company, you bet your ass his neck is 100% hairless. So what we’re trying to say is, do a damn good job at work, but make a little bit of time to keep your grooming situation in order. That way, all of your bases are covered. Here, a few of the most important considerations.
Crazy Bear-Claw Nails
Look: You don’t need to get manicures if you can keep your hands in good shape. Clip your nails on the regular, moisturize your hands once in a while, and of course, keep ’em clean. If this is an issue for you, go see someone. Seriously, there are places you can go.
Inappropriate Facial Hair
Some offices are dandy wildman–friendly, some are not. Know which one you’re working in and groom accordingly. And as for hair: It’s okay to go for the slacker look—just make sure your office attire doesn’t walk that same line.
Neck Hair
Grab your significant other or an especially cool roommate once a week and have that person help you keep your neck situation under control. Nothing says, “I watch six hours of Netflix every night and do nothing else” like a hairy neck. Go to the barber if you’re feeling fancy.
Feet That Stink
We wish we didn’t have to talk about this, but alas, we’ve all worked with a guy whose shoes were just a few days past passable in the odor department. Let’s just make it simple: Do not ever wear shoes to work that you have to spray down every night when you get home. Please.
Sweat, Lots of Sweat
Remember when your teacher got up in class and his pit stains made you feel sorry for him? Luckily, your coworkers aren’t 12-year-olds, but still, it’s a distracting feature. If you’re prone to sweat, just give in already and dress for your pits. (Go for black, white, and navy shirts; avoid polyester and embrace cotton.)
Random Nose and/or Ear Hairs
You’re young! You’re hip! You use Snapchat on Tinder dates! Own your age by having hairless facial appendages. Because this kind of thing sneaks up on you, schedule a reminder in your phone or just make a point of doing it. There’s always a random hair somewhere—make sure your cute coworker isn’t the first one to notice it.
Being Cologne Guy
What is this, Studio 54? No one wants to keep smelling you after you leave—that level of closeness is reserved for people who like you enough to sleep in your bed. Spray into the air once and walk through it, not four times directly onto your clothes and skin. If you wear cologne, make sure the rest of your products are mild in fragrance.
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