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Tired of shooting bricks and flubbing that crossover? Now there’s a freaky ball that’ll tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong

I play a little basketball. I mean this with no false modesty: I am a 31-year-old man of mediocre athleticism who plays pickup on weekends when the weather’s nice. I have the first step of a newborn deer. My ball-handling is the equivalent of Elaine’s dancing and years of bad form have left me with a shot best described as “optimistic.” I kinda suck. But now, thanks to the teched-out 94Fifty basketball, I know exactly why I kinda suck.

While the 94Fifty looks and feels like a high-end indoor/outdoor basketball, inside is a rechargeable battery and a mess of electronics linked to nine motion sensors. Using those sensors, the ball knows more than I’d like about my lousy fundamentals. And using its built-in Bluetooth and companion app (Apple only; sorry Android), the 94Fifty will say it to my face.

Firing up one of the app’s 17 dribbling and shooting drills, I hear a voice shouting instructions from my iPhone’s speaker: “Keep it on the fingertips, not the palm!” during the dominant-hand dribbling drill; “Too flat! Get it up!” during the shot-arc drill. (Because, yeah, it can measure your shot’s arc.) The drills are all game-ified and the stats continuously tracked; you can challenge a buddy to a skills showdown on the playground or, via Twitter, across the country. I always hated dribbling drills when I was younger—clearly—but a little friendly competition goes a long way toward making them bearable.

Is the 94Fifty going to turn me into Chris Paul? God no. At a say-what price of $295, it’s really aimed at guys who play competitively (and near-daily) and young’uns who need to learn solid mechanics. The creator, Mike Crowley, says that the kind of muscle memory the ball helps develop is easily won, but also easily lost—I’d have to practice and play way more often to upgrade my crossover from turnover-causing to ankle-breaking. Still, if you see a dude on a Brooklyn court standing in the corner, feverishly dribbling while some disembodied coach shouts instructions, come on by. Maybe we can get a game together—just don’t let me run point.

$295, 94fifty.com

Jon Wilde is the Global Digital Director of GQ.XInstagramRelated Stories for GQBasketballGQ SportsBasketball