Dominique Barry is a climber—at least, that’s how people perceive him after participating in HBO’s reality show The Climb. As his life became consumed by the sport, he felt pressure to perform—maybe from people’s expectations of him or maybe just his own expectations of himself. Either way, he was hard on himself when he was climbing. He started dreading going to the gym at busy hours and he preferred to keep to himself. “I was completely losing my footing on why I love doing it in the first place, which was to explore my body movement, go places, and meet new people,” he says.

Barry’s experience is not unique: Many people feel pressure to keep up the pace on a group run or show off their skills on the basketball court. Even as hobbies, sports have a sneaky way of intertwining with our identities until we can’t imagine ourselves without them. Being a runner, cyclist, or other athlete comes with a checklist of actions, apparel, and even personality traits that you’re supposed to embody. So when that sport stops bringing you joy? It can feel like you don’t know yourself anymore.

Even though exercise has been proven to ease anxiety, it can sometimes become a source of it instead. “Whenever any individual is training for something hard that they're passionate about or that they have a goal towards achieving, there's an element of anxiety that pops up,” says former pro athlete and sports psychologist Lennie Waite, PhD. This anxiety can persist long after said race or competition and creeps into normal training sessions or easy runs. “If you continue to do an activity that makes you miserable and you’re constantly anxious because you think you’re supposed to enjoy it and you don’t, you will experience burnout,” says Waite. “Many athletes end up feeling lost and confused,” says Tony Kemmochi, PsyD, a clinical sports psychologist at Intermountain Health, “saying things like: Why am I doing this? I'm not happy anymore.”

Sports anxiety isn’t always so obvious because it manifests differently across people. Often, especially before an event or game, you may experience rapid heartbeat, heightened breathing, or a stomachache—“typical fight or flight responses,” says Kemmochi. But it can also present as social isolation, controlled eating, avoidant tendencies, or excessive past- or future-oriented thinking, he notes. Does some of this sound a bit too familiar? Here are a few tips for easing it:

Get curious

It’s natural to experience changes like a loss of motivation or passion, but how we react to it matters. “Be curious about what's happening to your passion and love,” says Kemmochi. Instead of thinking of it as a problem, we should “accept what's happening, learn from it, and figure out what we want to do about it,” he explains. Acceptance is key to working with your anxiety instead of fighting against it, which “is the same as telling somebody hanging onto a floatation device to let go of it. They don't want to do it,” says Kemmochi.

First, he recommends digging into the reason behind your anxiety by asking yourself what you’re really feeling. If you’re feeling scared for a big race, that might mean that you care a lot—it’s a reflection of your passion. This knowledge can help you carve a path forward, whether that’s working on your mindset, taking a step back from the sport, or seeking professional help.

Remember your initial joy and purpose

When Barry was anxious about climbing, he noticed his motivation had started to shift from passion to the need to prove his worth to others. So he thought back to what led him to the sport in the first place—the joy of the movement and making the community more welcoming as a Black man in a predominately white sport. “Remember why you do it, to begin with, and hold that near and dear,” he recommends.

The reasons for starting a workout or sport differ for everybody—fun, mental health benefits, personal fitness goals, or socialization. Usually, we’re initially intrinsically motivated (I want to move my body) rather than extrinsically (I’m seeking approval from others), explains Kemmochi. “When we get that anxiety spike, we’re actually getting pretty far away from the original intended purpose of signing up for that event or doing that activity,” says Waite. “So if you’re still fulfilling that purpose, give yourself a pat on the back. If not, realign your journey.”

Focus on your own journey—not other people’s

Sports are inherently unfair, says Waite. They favor certain physiologies and genetics. But that’s not to discount the fact that it can be really frustrating to watch someone put in way less effort to achieve the same outcome that you’ve worked so hard for.

One major cause of anxiety in sports is that we’re comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards all the time. The slew of professional athletes that you follow on Instagram have much more time and resources to excel at fitness than the average person. Even among our friends, social media provides a glimpse into the good training days, so we only see the over-the-top long run or insane gym workout. Instead of playing the comparison game, “you have to measure your programs against your starting point and your endpoint,” recommends Waite. Find a way to measure your successes (like shaving a few minutes off your 10K or adding a bit of weight to your deadlift), but remember that progress is not always linear.

Change your self-talk

As Barry’s anxiety about climbing grew, his internal monologue was not kind. “I was starting to beat myself down—putting a lot of pressure on myself based on what I thought people wanted to see from me,” he explains. According to a 2021 study, reframing experiences, increasing positive self-talk, and moderating expectations can be effective remediation strategies for performance anxiety.

Kemmochi says that one of the biggest culprits of negative self-talk is “should” thinking, which can lead to feelings of unworthiness or insufficiency. Instead of “I should be able to do this,” replace that thinking with hope or desire: “I hope I can do this” or “I really want to do this.” It takes a lot of daily practice to change the language, but Kemmochi’s method with his clients is effective: Put a coin in a jar every time you catch yourself saying or thinking “should.” “It can be mind-blowing,” he says.

Develop a support system

Your community is everything—so much so that a 2019 study found that team sports athletes may be less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression than individual athletes. “It’s helpful to share and talk about this process with your support system,” says Kemmochi. “Many athletes don’t do this because they feel like they shouldn’t be vulnerable or don’t want to be a burden.”

For Barry, it wasn’t until he took a climbing trip with a few trusted friends—ones who didn’t care how he performed—that he could enjoy the sport again. If you don’t have a close, supportive crew of people, seek out an inclusive, no-drop cycling group or bring along a friend who knows you outside of your sport. It will be freeing.

Practice mindfulness and breathing exercises

When Waite works with athletes, her go-to methods for easing anxiety are breath control and mindfulness. Breathwork, especially slow-paced breathing exercises, can lower levels of stress. Next time you need some clarity, take a few slow, deep breaths to allow your nervous system to reset.

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Mindfulness, when practiced regularly, can be a powerful antidote against pessimism in athletes, according to a 2016 study. The same study found that it also helped cyclists achieve a “flow state,” which is the act of being completely immersed in a task where you aren’t judging yourself or worrying about an outcome.

Therapy can help

While it may be a hard pill to swallow, your sports-related anxiety may be a sign of a larger tendency. “I'm a pretty firm believer that how you show up is pretty consistent across environments,” Waite says, which is a nice way of saying: It’s probably not the activity getting you down; it’s your mindset.

“Anxiety is usually not just isolated in this one area,” says Kemmochi. When he works with patients who present this problem, he “almost always discovered that there is way more behind the anxiety,” he explains. It could be stemming from insecurities, low self-esteem, or previous trauma. Professional interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy can help you overcome these distortions. Even if you’re just experiencing mild symptoms, Kemmochi thinks our society should focus on preventative mental health solutions, taking action before the problem weighs too heavily. “I hope people keep their mind open to what they may not know about themselves and don’t dismiss a potential opportunity to improve their overall well-being,” Kemmochi says.

Hannah Singleton is a freelance journalist who writes about fitness, health, wellness, and the environment. Her work has been featured in publications such as the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, GQ, Vox, Wired, National Geographic, Forbes, and Fast Company. She earned a master's degree in environmental studies from Prescott... Read more