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"You don’t accept the role of a character called Pornstache unless you have a real passion for facial hair." So says Pablo Schreiber, who plays omni-asshole prison guard George "Pornstache" Mendez on Netflix’s women-in-lockup series, Orange Is the New Black. Schreiber applied his passion to helping GQ review the year’s follicular ambition.

A three-way tie between Houston Rockets guard James Harden, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Brian Wilson, and the guys from Duck Dynasty:

"I don’t like braggarts, you know? Like, you know, we get it. You can grow a big fat beard and you’re throwing it in our faces. Nobody needs to see that."

Underrated

**1. Michael Phelps

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"A full-on pornstache! All my underrated picks are people who look terrible but have the courage to rock it anyhow."

**2. Justin Bieber

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"It’s not even a duster, for God’s sake!"

**3. Ewan McGregor

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"Just Google ’Ewan McGregor bad facial hair.’ "

Lifetime Achievement Award: Tom Selleck

"For making a choice forty years ago and sticking with it. I’m going to lay some respect at the feet of the master."

Related: The Most Over- and Underrated Moments of 2013

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