CrossFitters—they're like vegans. How do you know if you're talking to one? They'll tell you.

I kid. In truth, you might also be able to identify a CrossFitter even before they tell you—by his or her muscles in places you did not realize humans could have muscles. Which is why, if you need an extra motivational push to get you through your weekend-warrior trip to the gym this weekend, you should probably tune into the CrossFit Games in Carson, California.

Throughout the week, the purported fittest people on Earth (teenage and over-40 divisions) have been competing in events with goofy names like the Amanda and the Long Chipper and the Double Hanger and the Sandwich. There is literally nothing goofy about any of these events, however. They are not to be laughed at. They are only to be witnessed with humblement and wonder at the capacity of other humans to be better than you at sports.

For example: Fifteen-year-old Sydney Sullivan has been called the "breakout star" of these Games, and she finished first in six of seven events she competed again in the teen division this year. According to The Sporting News, "The Long Chipper was Sullivan's favorite event. Take a deep breath before we tell you that this young lady completed this whole thing in just over 15 minutes: 1,000-meter run, 25 D-ball ground-to-shoulders (50 lb.), 25 box jump-overs (12 inch), 25 chin-over-bar pull-ups, 50 wall-ball shots (10 lb.), 25 chin-over-bar pull-ups, 25 box jump-overs (12 inch) and 25 sandbag ground-to-shoulders (50 lb.)."

Seriously, just watch this.

And for some more motivation, keep watching. Later, high-school-age boys and very powerful gray-haired ladies complete some of the same intense fitness routines.

This weekend, tune in for the main competition, in which the "fittest forty men and forty women" in the world will compete in "a series of challenges unknown to them until right before the competition." ESPN and CrossFit's YouTube channel will show live coverage, if you're a stream-while-on-the-treadmill person—and you can tune in for ESPN's coverage from 3 to 6 P.M. Eastern on Saturday and from 3 to 5 P.M. and 7:30 to 9 P.M. Eastern on Sunday.