breat-milk-body-builders-fitness-strength.jpg

Credit: Newscom

Today in steaming hot boob-secretion news, one Michigan mom revealed an exciting new business model that’s been squirting tons of bucks right into her wallet: selling her breast milk to body builders over the internet! The swollen athletes long for the human milk because of its "nutrients" and "hedge magic," and are reportedly willing to pay up to $10 an ounce.

It’s not clear what, exactly, the health benefits are of wrapping your mouth around a bottle of milk recently squirted out of a woman and then sent through the U.S. Postal Service, but that doesn’t stop body builders from trying.

Here’s ABC with more:

"There is nothing specific in breast milk that will cause adults to gain muscle mass," said Dr. Jacques Mortiz, the director of the division of gynecology at Mount Sinai Roosevelt in New York.While studies do indicate that breast milk has numerous advantages for newborns and infants, Mortiz said there are virtually no studies looking at what it can do for any adult, let alone bodybuilders. That’s because there is no scientific reason it should help.

For example, if the idea is to take in more protein, one cup of breast milk contains 2.5 grams of protein per cup compared to 7.9 grams of protein in cow’s milk, according to the USDA National Nutrition Database. It is also significantly higher in sugars and fat.

Plus, BONUS: breast milk from unregulated providers is often at higher risk of contamination, harboring "high colony counts of the staphylococcus bacteria"! Yum!

Seriously, though, staphylococcus colonies aside, there’s no reason why human milk should be more weird or disgusting to us than milk that was peed out by a dirty cow. So you do you, body builders. I mean, it’s just breast milk. It’s not like anyone’s implanting entire live babies under their skin to add instant bulk...right, guys?

...GUYS!??