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In small doses, stress can be a great motivator. (Would you really have tackled that boring work project without the looming deadline?) But feeling stressed out for a prolonged amount of time doesn’t just feel bad, it can negatively impact your health—and your looks.

Even though stress management is crucial for mental and physical well-being, it’s not something most people are ever actually taught. That’s where these science-backed and therapist-approved tips that follow come in—educating yourself doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stressed again, but it does mean you’ll be better equipped when stressful situations do happen or you start to feel overwhelmed.

The Consequences of Not Dealing With Stress

There’s a reason why stress has a bad rap, but therapist Frank Thewes, LCSW, says that stress is a fact of life—and it’s not all bad. He points out that happy life events—like moving, starting a new job you’re pumped to have landed, or getting engaged—all come with a side of stress. A life of no stress at all would mean not experiencing any of that.

“Stress is a natural response that can help push us to meet deadlines or other responsibilities. The stress to do well can also push us to grow,” says Ken Fierheller, RP, a registered psychotherapist. But both therapists say that stress crosses over from beneficial to bad when it’s prolonged—especially if it’s at a high level. Thewes says prolonged stress (even if it’s serving as your primary motivator) can lead to burnout.

You probably have already experienced first-hand the detrimental ways stress can impact your mood. Stress can lead to anxiety and being consumed with worry and rumination. There’s also a strong connection between chronic stress and depression. Ever feel like punching the wall or yelling at anyone who crosses your path when you feel stressed out? Scientific research shows that anger can be a natural stress response in men, accompanied by an increase in heart rate and rise in cortisol, which is often called the “stress hormone.”

All of that is just how stress can impact your mental health. Loads of scientific research shows that prolonged, chronic stress is horrible for physical health too. Sorry to be dramatic and all, but stress can kill you. “[Prolonged stress can] contribute to physical issues like heart problems, weight gain, or sleep disorders like insomnia,” Fierheller says.

Okay, you’ve gotten your wakeup call. Now the big question: What’s the best way to deal with stress?

How To Prep In Advance for Stressful Times

Offense really can be your best defense when it comes to dealing with stress. Psychotherapist Chase Cassine, LCSW, says one of the best ways to preventatively manage stress is by getting good consistent sleep. Not getting enough sleep causes the body to produce more cortisol. Of course, feeling stressed can make it hard to sleep, which is where the tips in the next section come into play.

Cassine says that eating a balanced diet also makes dealing with anxiety-inducing events easier to manage when they happen. This is because filling up primarily on ultra-processed foods can cause inflammation, which can contribute to feeling anxious because of the impact on neurotransmitters in the brain (primarily decreasing serotonin and increasing cortisol).

Maintaining a strong support system is also key for being prepared for trying times, Cassine says. Keep those guys’ nights on the books, don’t ignore your friends when they text you, and maybe even consider joining that group you heard about. “Reach out to friends to connect with them in real life and cultivate those interpersonal connections,” Cassine says.

Thewes says that it’s important that you’re regularly doing at least something every day that brings you joy. This isn’t just fluffy advice; he says it helps build resilience. Whatever your happy place is—a long run, reading aloud to your kid, making dinner with your partner, rewatching Mad Men—find time to do it.

What To Do When Stress Is Getting the Best of You

Having habits in place that make dealing with anxiety-inducing circumstances easier is helpful, but you still need a game plan for when you’re feeling overwhelmed or on edge. First, it can be helpful to take a breath—or a few, actually.

“Breathing and meditation can calm an overstressed nervous system and help us regulate ourselves better. The nervous system needs conscious care to help resilience to stress. Breathing exercises and meditation are excellent free ways to do that,” Thewes says. This is why breathing and meditation aren’t just a preventive measure, but an in-the-moment solution too. New to breathwork? Try 4-7-8 breathing. Or fire up your Calm or Headspace app for a short meditation.

If you tend to hit the gym whenever you feel on edge, all three therapists say this is a great way to deal with stress. Similar to meditation, it can work as a preventive habit too. “Exercise releases endorphins, improves mood, and reduces the levels of stress hormones like cortisol. Regular exercise also helps with sleep, which is really important when managing stress,” Fierheller says.

A lot of time, stress can stem from feeling overwhelmed because of so much that needs to be done. When this happens, you likely aren’t going to feel better until you start tackling what’s on your plate. Not sure where to start? Fierheller says there are two ways you can go: doing what’s easiest first or starting with what you’re dreading the most. “Tackling easy wins first builds momentum and can be the least overwhelming, but facing the most dreaded tasks early can provide a stronger sense of relief,” he says.

Cassine says that when stress is getting the best of you, talking it out can also help. Remember that support system you’ve been cultivating? Consider who would be most beneficial to talk to about what you’re doing through. For example, do you need advice on how to deal with a boss who’s making your life hell? Are you going through a rough patch with your partner and could use advice from that friend who’s good at giving relationship advice? Maybe you just need someone who will listen.

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When talking to someone in your support system about what’s on your mind, Fierheller says that the key is to express how you're feeling without expecting them to fix things right away. “Let them know you just need support. Having someone actively listen and validate your feelings makes a big difference. It's usually less about solutions and more about feeling heard,” he says.

While not every stressful experience requires enlisting the help of a therapist, there are times when it’s a good idea. “Talking to a therapist can be especially helpful when stress feels overwhelming or hard to manage alone,” Fierheller says. “Therapists offer a non-judgmental space where you can express yourself freely and explore the root causes of your stress. They can also help you develop personalized coping strategies and provide new perspectives to tackle challenges in healthier ways through different models of therapy.”

You may be wondering what therapists think about having a drink as a way to de-stress. While Thewes says that it’s fine to do this once in a while, he doesn’t recommend making it a nightly or even regular ritual. “Numbing or disconnecting from stress isn’t the same as dealing with stress. It doesn’t go away,” he says. On top of that, Thewes points out that even small amounts of alcohol can impact sleep quality. “Sleep is the bedrock of solid stress management. That couple of drinks you’re having after work feels good in the moment, but ultimately reduces our ability to manage stress well,” he says.

There's obviously no single right answer here. But if you have your game plan set for both preparing in advance for stress and knowing what to do when it hits you, you’re well-prepared.

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Emily Laurence is a journalist, freelance writer, and certified health coach living in Raleigh, North Carolina. She specializes in writing about health, lifestyle, and social justice. Emily spent six years as an editor and writer at Well+Good, covering everything from food trends to serious issues like the opioid crisis in... Read moreInstagramRelated Stories for GQHealthMental Health